Posted on August 11, 2017
A pink nose fills up most of the computer screen. One can barely see two ruby-red little eyes and a face covered with white fur. (What do you mean you can't see it? Well, imagine it, then! Do I have to do everything?)
"HELP MY UNCLE PAUL!!"
The Albino ferret kit turns from the screen (Look, I said you have to imagine it. Let's not go through that again.) to look at the lovely Cinnamon ferret sitting on the couch. She continues, "Don't you think that's coming on a bit strong?"
Levi replies, "Sorry, Mama" and does not look sorry.
"Come over and sit with us."
"Okay, Mama." Levi walks over to the couch and climbs up to sit by his Mama. She says, "Where did you get the idea to stick your face in the computer screen like that?"
"Uncle Murphy suggested it, Mama."
"Murphy. I should have known - dear husband of mine, please don't laugh."
The Dark-Eyed White wearing a yarmulke with red trim, who is also sitting on the couch, clears his throat and says, "Oh! Oh, I'd never laugh. Um... That's an important lesson, Levi! There is a right way and a wrong way to go about this."
"I understand, Papa."
"Very good. But you do have the right idea. We're here to help promote this fundraiser for -" He frowns. "What should we call the human who created us in his imagination? Not Father. Grandfather? Uncle doesn't seem to completely cover it."
"How about Great-Uncle?"
"Great-Uncle. That sounds fine. - Folks, I'm Rabbi Sammy of Paul's crew of imaginary New Ferrets. This lovely lady is my wife Clarissa and this... direct young man is our son Levi." Clarissa and Levi smile and wave. "And we are here to promote Paul's fundraiser."
Clarissa says, "You folks have been a tremendous help and source of support to Paul through his fight with cancer almost two years ago, and, with no small thanks to you and all of his friends, he seems to have beaten it."
Levi says, "If Paul had lost, where would we be? That's a scary thought!"
The Rabbi says, "Excellent point. But Paul is still here. But he still has medical bills to pay, and that's what this fundraiser is for. As of right now, the amount of money he owes is approximately... Let's see here..." Sammy picks up a calculator and taps at the buttons. "Let's see now... Add in that...Subtract that... Wait a minute, that can't be right! Let me try - oh, that CAN'T be right!"
"Dear heart, let Levi try."
"But I'm positive I can get this! If I... Oy gvalt! Ohh, all right." Sammy reluctantly hands to calculator to his son, who quickly taps on the keys and hands it back.
Clarissa says, "My husband, the Jewish Luddite."
Sammy frowns, then thinks for a moment before he says, "Can a Jew be a Luddite? I'll have to think about that one. Anyway -" He looks at the calculator. "Ah. Our Great-Uncle Paul, as of this moment, owes a little over $1,600 in medical bills. He pays what he can on them, but he would really appreciate some help!"
Clarissa says, "So, we are here to ask you to please donate to the fundraiser. It doesn't have to be much; it adds up."
Sammy says, "Now you can donate through Youcaring - fine folks they are - or directly through Paypal. When you go through Youcaring, the total donated automatically changes, but if you use Paypal, the totals don't change, so we adjust the goal amount to reflect those donations." He looks at his son and says wryly, "I think we better have Levi do that part."
Levi smiles. "I'm real good at math!"
Clarissa says, "If you go through Paypal, please contact Paul in private for the email address."
Sammy says, "Be sure to spread this around social media. I wouldn't know much about that, as if you couldn't figure that out for yourself."
Levi pipes up. "And don't forget to leave comments! Paul likes those!"
Clarissa smiles. "So he does. So step up and help Paul. You've done so much and he thanks you very much."
Sammy says, "We all thank you - Hey!"
A pink nose fills up most of the computer screen. One can barely see two dark little eyes and a face covered with a mask of dark fur. (Yes, there's that imagination thing again.)
"PLEASE HELP MY GRAND-UNCLE PAUL!!"
Clarissa sighs. "Murphy..."
Murphy says, "Hey, I said 'please'!"
Sammy says, "Gvalt. Such shenanigans from a grown ferret, already."
Levi says, “And we want to say Hi to Aunty Sandy Repper, who’s going through chemotherapy right now.”
Clarissa says, “You’ll always be in our thoughts, Aunt Sandy. And thanks again to everyone!”