Trying to get back to a "normal" life is not as easy as everyone makes it out to be.
This week we are at my mother-in-law's home. Stephanie Long Bish has been great and welcoming. Still, Travis Alexander Ramos Sr. and I think about our little angels constantly. We had to go and finish choosing the plaque that will go over Jr and Lillian's grave yesterday. It was harder than I thought it would be. It was great getting the opportunity to talk to them, though. Ayden came with me. He still doesn't know that his brother and sister will never be able to play hide-and-seek or sing "Ring Around the Rosie" with him. There is no way to explain to a three-year-old that he wont have Jr to rough house with or Lillian to protect from suitors in the future. All we could tell him was that the grave we were praying, singing, and talking to was a magical place where, if we closed our eyes and placed our hands over it, we would feel the magic rush to our hearts.
I wish for them all the time. I know it will never happen, but I imagine what life would be like with them. I would give anything to have them by our side.
We have aggressively started my eye treatments this week, as well. I have had injections AND laser surgery. It is not easy and I truly dislike it. I know it has to get done so I do not permanently lose my vision, but it sucks. I wish I had an eye patch... yes, I have been degraded to this point. It would sure help me from the bright blinding lights and instant migraines.
So, is life back to normal. No. I don't think it will ever be. Right now, not being able to work, drive, or help contribute to my household hurts and saddens me. But I appreciate the help and love Travis and I have received from everyone. It is mind-blowing how caring so many of you have been. I do not know how to thank you. Please continue to share their page below. They are two little angels that have touched the hearts of many.
I know, for us at least, they have taught us to value each other a lot more. To be thankful for the friends and family in our lives, no matter how long it has been since we last spoke. To cherish every small moment, though at the time it may seem insignificant. To fight for what we believe and stick to our morals and values. I hope they can teach all of you something too.