I don't really know where to begin. I need help.
So I'm 24, and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an eating disorder (ana with b/p subtype) and just over two and a half weeks ago I tried to kill myself.
I took the remainder of my anti-depressants and what ever pain medication I could find. I wrote the note and I cut my wrists. Its not pretty, but it's the truth. Obviously, the attempt was unsuccessful.
And here's the thing. I didn't plan on getting this far...
Thankfully, through out everything I have a job, one that is not in my studied area, but it pays the bills. I serve shit food and coffee for a company that couldn't care less about it's employees and I struggled through for nearly a year now. However, since the suicide attempt I've been off work and my GP advises me that until I am emotionally stronger I shouldn't go back, simply due to the stress it puts me under and the anxiety it causes me on a daily basis.
It's never that easy though; I need to go back or I'll be homeless.
My advisory sick line runs out on the 17th May, so I'll be off for nearly a month and the statutory sick pay in Scotland isn't enough to cover my bills.
Let me break it down for you: Gov' SSP = £88.45 weekly (first 3 days not payable, so you need to be off for 1 month and 3 days to get the full £353.80)
My Bills: £750 minimum
- Rent £350
- Council Tax £85
- Travel (bus&train to work) £110
- Gas (metered) £20
- Electric (metered) £30
- Food £50+
- Phone (Contract) & Internet £75
- TV Licence £30
And in addition to my normal outgoings my bank is now chasing me to pay for the remainder of my Student Overdraft, which to get me in the black is another £1000. Originally it was £1500 but I managed to pay a chunk of it last year when I first got the job but have struggled to put anything away since.
I understand this is a lot of money, truly I do. I've couch surfed through college and felt the pain of washing my hair with cold water due to not having any credit in the meter. Any help, any donation (no matter how small) would be a weight lifted.
With the remainder of my time off should hopefully get myself in some semblance of functional order. I'm on 150mg of Sertraline daily and I'm on the 18 week waiting list to get the psychological help that I need, with weekly meetings with the community nurse until then.
I can't rely financially on my family. The reason I had to move out was due to overcrowding and my mother struggling to meet her own finances, so any remaining money I had spare would go to her and my siblings. I'm going to sift through my belongings and ebay some items to make ends meet as well. *I'll update with the link at a later time*