Peace of Mind for Patsy

For: Patsy Martin & Family
Organizer: Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family
$56,717
of $65,000 goal.
Raised by 300 donors
87% Complete
This fundraiser is closed. Thank you for your support!

The Story

Updated 9/3/14


On August 17thin the early morning hours our Patsy earned her wings.

Eulogy for Patsy L. Martin

Given by Chuck Martin (son)

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Clarinda High School Auditorium

Good morning. For those of you who do not recognize me behind this beard, gut, and receding hairline, I am Patsy and Ed’s other child who resides in Chicago, where I teach seventh and eighth grade at a small private Montessori school located near O’Hare Airport.In fact, you probably still think ofme as the small boy about this tall*gesture to about the knee*who seemed permanently attached to his mother’s leg. Either way, feel free to just call me, “Chuck.”

Let me begin by expressing immeasurable amounts of gratitude on behalf of my family for the outpouring of support and lovewe received throughout Mom’s illness. From the hospice workers, the ALS Foundation and Clinic, and the staff of Westridgeto the army of caretakers and volunteers, your hard work, generosity, patience, and understanding seemedutterlylimitless. You truly became part of our family. To all of you who participated in the benefits, promoted the website, and purchased and sold the bracelets, your generosity helped keep our family afloatfinanciallyand truly provided Mom a sense of peace. Finally, thank you, thank you, thank you for the countless visits, letters, phone calls, Facebookmessages, and emails of support and loveMom received over the past few years. Receiving them was her favorite part of the day, and those messages often gave her the strength and fortitude to continue. More than anything, thank you for helping our family feel blessed even during our darkest hours.

If this was a slightly different occasion and Mom were here, I suspect she would be wearing a mix of red, black, white,and maroon.  Depending on the type of event, we might haveeven seen her proudly sportingCHS Teacher and SHS Momsweatshirt. Mom did not care how much those sweatshirts embarrassed my sister and me. Showing her pride and affection for both communities was a non-negotiable in our family, and that goofy sort of affectionate doting was commonplace in our home. So imagine my surprise when a Clarinda freshman informed me that my mom, the most docile person I have ever known,was one of the scariest teachers he’d ever had at a Shenandoah/Clarinda sporting event. “My mom?” I asked. “Mrs. Martin? The one wearing mom jeansandthe Clarindoah” sweatshirt, carrying around her bag of papers because shemightjust get a few checkedbetween innings?Her?

It turns out, my mom was one of the Wicked Witches – East or West – I can’t remember, and, according to my source, she could strike fear into any Clarinda student with one simple move: the lowering of her glasses on her nose so that she could stare straightthroughtheir eyes andinto their soul. Who knew? Apparently my mom had special superhuman powers – powers so potent that I can only assume she refused to use them on her own children for fear of causing permanent damage.

On the way home, I told Mom about my conversation with the Clarinda boy, whom she quickly admitted received more than his fair share of such glares. But, she explained, he wasn’t exactly rightabout hetrue motivations. You see, Mom had a weakness: she hadalways had an affinity for jokesters and troublemakers heck, she even married one. They were like her teacher Kryptonite. She always had a hard time keeping astraight face when chiding those particular students. So in order tookeep from laughing along withthe jokester and the rest of the class, she lowered her glasses on her nose, completely blurring her vision and forcing her tomerelysquint in the general direction of the naughty student. “I just wanted to keep from laughing – the whole-wicked-witch-evil-stare-thing was just an added bonus,” she explained. “No real harm was done, and it got them to behave.”

“But, Mom,” I protested, “doesn’t it bother you that they’re calling you bad names?”


“Oh, Honey!” she laughed. “If a teacher isn’t being called bad names once in a while, she probably isn’t pushing hard enough.”
That’s how Mom was: she helped others reach their potential by maintaining high standards and expectations while still providing plenty of love and support – along with a healthy dose of her unique humor.

Mom once warned me, “Never trust someone who tells you they’re nice. A nice person doesn’t have to tell you: they just are and people know it. Just like a person of faith needn’t remind others of their beliefs, because they should just simply live their faith.” This advice has served me well over the years and helped me navigate numerous different relationships. AsI’ve grown older, I nowrealize that it was more than advice to my mom – it was her philosophy of life.  Mom believed that God waslove, so to be closer to Him, she spent most of her life loving others through constantaffection and a desire serve others.As a result,Mom was many things to many different people: a teacher, a mentor, a coworker, an Episcopalian, a fellow Legion member, a sister, a cousin, a classmate, a neighbor, a friend, a wife, a mother. Simply put: she was love. 

Thank you.

HOW CAN I HELP? WHAT IS APPROPRIATE?

Visitors

If you’d like to visit the Martin home please first reach out to Holly at boomasooner@gmail.com. At times they welcome visitors, others they’d prefer their privacy. Please don't be surprised or offended if they refuse visitors or do not respond to your calls.

Bringing Food / Cooking Meals

Please don't. The family has specific dietary needs due to Ed's diabetes and Holly's allergies. They also have an in-house chef in Curtis who loves to cook as a form of stress relief so they are more than covered. Instead consider sending them a card with a HyVee gift card to help with the expense of food.

Cards / Gifts

Instead of gifts, cards, or flowers please consider making a donation to the Martins directly (information below) or to the Iowa Chapter of the ALS Association that supported Patsy during this past year (https://secure2.convio.net/alsa/site/Donation2;jsessionid=6DE5FADD66603DFD550194D46EF09793.app276b?2682.donation=form1&idb=1448528288&df_id=2682&2682.donation=root).

Donate! Get others to donate!

I know it sounds like such an impersonal thing to do when you want to express your support and prayers, but let's face it ... money is the biggest way you can support the Martins right now. It will make sure that they can take this time off work. It will make sure that the Martins do not have to worry about the cost of the care facility and upcoming funeral expenses. Your donation will be placed in an account that the Martins can use as they see fit.

You can donate on-line at www.youcaring.com/Peace_of_Mind_for_Patsy. If you don't want to donate on-line you can make a check payable to either "Charles & Patsy Martin" (Charles is Ed's formal name) or "Patsy Martin Benefit Account". If you are local feel free to drop it off at Page County State Bank. If you are not local you may mail it directly to the Martin home (1465 220th Street, Shenandoah, IA 51601-4562).

Note: The organizer of this web page is Alissa Hogan. Her mother Joyce was a childhood friend of Patsy & Ed. Though not raised in the area her grandparents Verena & Jack Roscoe remained there so she visited holidays and summers and grew up with Holly & Chuck as if cousins. She currently lives in Omaha, NE but gets down to Shen to help as often as possible. She does not represent any organization or charity but is doing this as a friend of the Martin family with their express permission & continuous involvement.

Fundraiser Updates

Posted on September 17, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family

SATURDAY OCTOBER 4th, 2014

DES MOINES, IOWA – Principal Park

ALS Association Iowa Chapter Walk to Defeat ALS!


JOIN THE TEAM WALKING TO HONOR PATSY: http://bit.ly/JoinTeamALSA

Instructions:On this page click “Join Team”,then again you’ll have to click “Join Team”.Where you can search for a Team Name type in “Team Patsy”.Then just click JOIN!If you have any problems let Holly know you’d like to join the team by e-mailing her at boomasooner@gmail.com

DONATE HELP THE TEAM REACH THEIR FUNDRAISING GOAL: http://bit.ly/DonateALSATeamPatsy


Posted on September 3, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family
For those who were unable to attend, we wanted to share Chuck's beautiful tribute:

Eulogy for Patsy L. Martin

Given by Chuck Martin (son)

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Clarinda High School Auditorium

Good morning. For those of you who do not recognize me behind this beard, gut, and receding hairline, I am Patsy and Ed’s other child who resides in Chicago, where I teach seventh and eighth grade at a small private Montessori school located near O’Hare Airport.In fact, you probably still think ofme as the small boy about this tall*gesture to about the knee*who seemed permanently attached to his mother’s leg. Either way, feel free to just call me, “Chuck.”

Let me begin by expressing immeasurable amounts of gratitude on behalf of my family for the outpouring of support and lovewe received throughout Mom’s illness. From the hospice workers, the ALS Foundation and Clinic, and the staff of Westridgeto the army of caretakers and volunteers, your hard work, generosity, patience, and understanding seemedutterlylimitless. You truly became part of our family. To all of you who participated in the benefits, promoted the website, and purchased and sold the bracelets, your generosity helped keep our family afloatfinanciallyand truly provided Mom a sense of peace. Finally, thank you, thank you, thank you for the countless visits, letters, phone calls, Facebookmessages, and emails of support and loveMom received over the past few years. Receiving them was her favorite part of the day, and those messages often gave her the strength and fortitude to continue. More than anything, thank you for helping our family feel blessed even during our darkest hours.

If this was a slightly different occasion and Mom were here, I suspect she would be wearing a mix of red, black, white,and maroon.  Depending on the type of event, we might haveeven seen her proudly sportingCHS Teacher and SHS Momsweatshirt. Mom did not care how much those sweatshirts embarrassed my sister and me. Showing her pride and affection for both communities was a non-negotiable in our family, and that goofy sort of affectionate doting was commonplace in our home. So imagine my surprise when a Clarinda freshman informed me that my mom, the most docile person I have ever known,was one of the scariest teachers he’d ever had at a Shenandoah/Clarinda sporting event. “My mom?” I asked. “Mrs. Martin? The one wearing mom jeansandthe Clarindoah” sweatshirt, carrying around her bag of papers because shemightjust get a few checkedbetween innings?Her?

It turns out, my mom was one of the Wicked Witches – East or West – I can’t remember, and, according to my source, she could strike fear into any Clarinda student with one simple move: the lowering of her glasses on her nose so that she could stare straightthroughtheir eyes andinto their soul. Who knew? Apparently my mom had special superhuman powers – powers so potent that I can only assume she refused to use them on her own children for fear of causing permanent damage.

On the way home, I told Mom about my conversation with the Clarinda boy, whom she quickly admitted received more than his fair share of such glares. But, she explained, he wasn’t exactly rightabout hetrue motivations. You see, Mom had a weakness: she hadalways had an affinity for jokesters and troublemakers heck, she even married one. They were like her teacher Kryptonite. She always had a hard time keeping astraight face when chiding those particular students. So in order tookeep from laughing along withthe jokester and the rest of the class, she lowered her glasses on her nose, completely blurring her vision and forcing her tomerelysquint in the general direction of the naughty student. “I just wanted to keep from laughing – the whole-wicked-witch-evil-stare-thing was just an added bonus,” she explained. “No real harm was done, and it got them to behave.”

“But, Mom,” I protested, “doesn’t it bother you that they’re calling you bad names?”


“Oh, Honey!” she laughed. “If a teacher isn’t being called bad names once in a while, she probably isn’t pushing hard enough.”
That’s how Mom was: she helped others reach their potential by maintaining high standards and expectations while still providing plenty of love and support – along with a healthy dose of her unique humor.

Mom once warned me, “Never trust someone who tells you they’re nice. A nice person doesn’t have to tell you: they just are and people know it. Just like a person of faith needn’t remind others of their beliefs, because they should just simply live their faith.” This advice has served me well over the years and helped me navigate numerous different relationships. AsI’ve grown older, I nowrealize that it was more than advice to my mom – it was her philosophy of life.  Mom believed that God waslove, so to be closer to Him, she spent most of her life loving others through constantaffection and a desire serve others.As a result,Mom was many things to many different people: a teacher, a mentor, a coworker, an Episcopalian, a fellow Legion member, a sister, a cousin, a classmate, a neighbor, a friend, a wife, a mother. Simply put: she was love.

Thank you.


Posted on August 19, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family
Great article in the Register!

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/local/kyle-munson/2014/08/19/als-ice-bucket-challenge-no-gimmick-patsy-martin-family/14278421/ 

Posted on August 18, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family

FUNERAL / VISITATION INFORMATION:

Visitation:   Friday, August 22nd, 2014 from 5:30PM to 7:30PM

Location:

Kirsch Funeral Chapel

405 West Thomas Ave.

Shenandoah, IA 51601

Directions: http://kirschfuneral.com/

Funeral:  Saturday, August 23rd, 2014 at 10:00AM

Location:

Clarinda High School Auditorium

100 N Cardinal Drive

Clarinda, IA 61632-1307

Directions: http://mapq.st/1pWfUIm

Burial:  Immediately following Funeral on Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

Location:

Rose Hill Cemetery

307 Carter Street

Shenandoah, IA 51601

Directions: http://mapq.st/1rNZ0v1

HOW CAN I HELP? WHAT IS APPROPRIATE?

Visitors

If you’d like to visit the Martin home please first reach out to Holly at boomasooner@gmail.com. At times they welcome visitors, others they’d prefer their privacy. Please don't be surprised or offended if they refuse visitors or do not respond to your calls.

Bringing Food / Cooking Meals

Please don't. The family has specific dietary needs due to Ed's diabetes and Holly's allergies. They also have an in-house chef in Curtis who loves to cook as a form of stress relief so they are more than covered. Instead consider sending them a card with a HyVee gift card to help with the expense of food.

Cards / Gifts

Instead of gifts, cards, or flowers please consider making a donation to the Martins directly (information below) or to the Iowa Chapter of the ALS Association that supported Patsy during this past year (https://secure2.convio.net/alsa/site/Donation2;jsessionid=6DE5FADD66603DFD550194D46EF09793.app276b?2682.donation=form1&idb=1448528288&df_id=2682&2682.donation=root).

Donate! Get others to donate!

I know it sounds like such an impersonal thing to do when you want to express your support and prayers, but let's face it ... money is the biggest way you can support the Martins right now. It will make sure that they can take this time off work. It will make sure that the Martins do not have to worry about the cost of the care facility and upcoming funeral expenses. Your donation will be placed in an account that the Martins can use as they see fit.

You can donate on-line at www.youcaring.com/Peace_of_Mind_for_Patsy. If you don't want to donate on-line you can make a check payable to either "Charles & Patsy Martin" (Charles is Ed's formal name) or "Patsy Martin Benefit Account". If you are local feel free to drop it off at Page County State Bank. If you are not local you may mail it directly to the Martin home (1465 220th Street, Shenandoah, IA 51601-4562).


Posted on August 17, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family
This morning our Patsy became an angel.   She is free now.   We will post funeral information as soon as things are set up.   

Posted on August 15, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family

Patsy remains at Westridge Quality Care & Rehab in Clarinda.   In speaking with the family they are fine if people want to come visit.   She’s in room 515.  The address is 600 Manor Drive, Clarinda, IA 61632.   If you do go visit please be aware that Patsy is and will remain unresponsive.   She is under medication to keep her resting until she passes, which won’t be long.   You may also hear her breathing is very gargled and she coughs now and again.   The staff are suctioning the fluid regularly and turning her to keep her comfortable. 

If you’d like to visit the Martin home please first reach out to Holly at boomasooner@gmail.com.  At times they welcome visitors, others they’d prefer their privacy. 

I strongly encourage you to spread the word about our efforts to continue to raise funds for the Martins.   Again, I know it sounds like such an impersonal thing to do when you want to express your support and prayers, but let's face it ... money is the biggest way you can support the Martins right now.  It will make sure that they can take this time off work.  It will make sure that the Martins do not have to worry about medical and funeral expenses.  Your donation will be placed in an account that the Martins can use as they see fit.

You can donate on-line at www.youcaring.com/Peace_of_Mind_for_Patsy.  If you don't want to donate on-line you can make a check payable to either "Charles & Patsy Martin" (Charles is Ed's formal name) or "Patsy Martin Benefit Account".  If you are local feel free to drop it off at Page County State Bank.  If you are not local you may mail it directly to the Martin home at 1465 220th Street, Shenandoah, IA 51601-4562. 


Posted on August 12, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family

Passing along Holly’s message for any of you that are not on the Peace of Mind for Patsy Facebook page:

Mom is settled in at Westridge Care Facility and is also still under the care of the SMH Hospice. She seems comfortable, and peaceful. She isn't responsive, and we have asked them to keep her medicated so that she remains not in pain until the end. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  – Holly

To expand on Holly’s message, Patsy has had to be medicated to the point of unconsciousness since Friday as her difficulty breathing and pain was too much for her.  She will need this until she passes, which will not be long as per her wishes she has received no food / water or other medical interventions.  She receives only medications to keep her comfortably resting.    Holly, Ed and Chuck are with her almost constantly.  

When the time comes we will notify you & pass along the details of the memorial service.   Until then please continue to give the family their privacy and quiet.  

I would also like to encourage you to consider making a donation to support the family with final expenses.   See the main page at www.youcaring.com/Peace_of_Mind_for_Patsy for the different ways you can donate.  

Thank you. 


Posted on August 7, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family
Our Patsy has been struggling with pain and discomfort since Friday.  Attmpts to manage this in home were unsuccessful so today she was transferred to the Shenandoah Memorial Hospital Hospice Room.   We hope to get the pain under control and keep her comfortable. 

No one can tell us how long we have left, not even the doctors, but it is clear that Patsy has moved into the final stages of the disease where she will have more bad days than good.  We all knew that this would come eventually but with an average life expectancy of 3 to 5 years after diagnosis we'd hoped for more time. 

What can you do?   What is appropriate? 


Visitors:  

The instinct when hearing such news is to rush over to visit the hosptial or the home.  Please stop and think before you do this.  The family needs their quiet time together right now.  

If you feel strongly that you must visit, please do not come unannounced.  Reach out first and ask when would be a good time (Holly's e-mail is boomasooner@gmail.com).   DO NOT BE SUPRISED OR OFFENDED if you are told that they are not taking visitors.  Patsy has lost almost all of her ability to communicate and with the medications to manage her pain she may not be responsive.  The family is also drained of energy in this sad time so they too may not be up to having visitors.  Please respect their privacy. 

Also be aware that depending on when you last saw Patsy the change in her may be very upsetting to you and your reaction could be very upsetting to her.  Simply, this is not the time for everyone who hasn't been visiting in the months prior to rush there.  It could upset the family more than comfort them. 


Bringing Food / Cooking Meals

Please don't.  Patsy cannot eat your treats.  She is at the point where she cannot eat or drink through her mouth at all.   The family has specific dietary needs due to Ed's diabetes and Holly's allergeis.  They also have an in-house chef in Curtis who loves to cook as a form of stress relief so they are more than covered. 

Instead consider sending them a card with a HyVee gift card to help with the expense of food.   Or you could use yhour cooking skills to host a bake sale or neighborhood pot luck event to raise money to go to the Martins.  If you do an event please contact alie_hogan@hotmail.com so that we can get approval from the family and instruct you on how to get hte funds to the Martins.   Please understand that the Martins may not be able or willing to attend events as they did with the previous spaghetti suppers.   Things have changed a great deal since then. 


Cards / Gifts

Instead of gifts or flowers please consider making a donation! Do feel free to send cards to the Martin home through the mail.  Patsy is not on Facebook or e-mail so messages sent this way will not reach her.  Cards sent to the home will be brought to her by the family.  The mailing address is:  1465 220th Street, Shenandoah, IA 51601-4562. 


Donate!   Get others to donate! 

I know it sounds like such an impersonal thing to do when you want to express your support and prayers, but let's face it ... money is the biggest way you can support the Martins right now.  It will make sure that they can take time off work as needed.  It will pay for Chuck's flights home (he goes back to Chicago to get ready for the school year on Friday).  It will make sure that the Martins do not have to worry about medical and funeral expenses. 

You can donate on-line at www.youcaring.com/Peace_of_Mind_for_Patsy.  If you don't want to donate on-line you can make a check payable to either "Charles & Patsy Martin" (Charles is Ed's formal name) or "Patsy Martin Benefit Account".  If you are local feel free to drop it off at Page County State Bank.  If you are not local you may mail it directly to the Martin home (address listed above). 

Posted on August 7, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family
Our Patsy has been struggling with pain and discomfort since Friday.  Attmpts to manage this in home were unsuccessful so today she was transferred to the Shenandoah Memorial Hospital Hospice Room.   We hope to get the pain under control and keep her comfortable. 

No one can tell us how long we have left, not even the doctors, but it is clear that Patsy has moved into the final stages of the disease where she will have more bad days than good.  We all knew that this would come eventually but with an average life expectancy of 3 to 5 years after diagnosis we'd hoped for more time. 

What can you do?   What is appropriate? 


Visitors:  

The instinct when hearing such news is to rush over to visit the hosptial or the home.  Please stop and think before you do this.  The family needs their quiet time together right now.  

If you feel strongly that you must visit, please do not come unannounced.  Reach out first and ask when would be a good time (Holly's e-mail is boomasooner@gmail.com).   DO NOT BE SUPRISED OR OFFENDED if you are told that they are not taking visitors.  Patsy has lost almost all of her ability to communicate and with the medications to manage her pain she may not be responsive.  The family is also drained of energy in this sad time so they too may not be up to having visitors.  Please respect their privacy. 

Also be aware that depending on when you last saw Patsy the change in her may be very upsetting to you and your reaction could be very upsetting to her.  Simply, this is not the time for everyone who hasn't been visiting in the months prior to rush there.  It could upset the family more than comfort them. 


Bringing Food / Cooking Meals

Please don't.  Patsy cannot eat your treats.  She is at the point where she cannot eat or drink through her mouth at all.   The family has specific dietary needs due to Ed's diabetes and Holly's allergeis.  They also have an in-house chef in Curtis who loves to cook as a form of stress relief so they are more than covered. 

Instead consider sending them a card with a HyVee gift card to help with the expense of food.   Or you could use yhour cooking skills to host a bake sale or neighborhood pot luck event to raise money to go to the Martins.  If you do an event please contact alie_hogan@hotmail.com so that we can get approval from the family and instruct you on how to get hte funds to the Martins.   Please understand that the Martins may not be able or willing to attend events as they did with the previous spaghetti suppers.   Things have changed a great deal since then. 


Cards / Gifts

Instead of gifts or flowers please consider making a donation! Do feel free to send cards to the Martin home through the mail.  Patsy is not on Facebook or e-mail so messages sent this way will not reach her.  Cards sent to the home will be brought to her by the family.  The mailing address is:  1465 220th Street, Shenandoah, IA 51601-4562. 


Donate!   Get others to donate! 

I know it sounds like such an impersonal thing to do when you want to express your support and prayers, but let's face it ... money is the biggest way you can support the Martins right now.  It will make sure that they can take time off work as needed.  It will pay for Chuck's flights home (he goes back to Chicago to get ready for the school year on Friday).  It will make sure that the Martins do not have to worry about medical and funeral expenses. 

You can donate on-line at www.youcaring.com/Peace_of_Mind_for_Patsy.  If you don't want to donate on-line you can make a check payable to either "Charles & Patsy Martin" (Charles is Ed's formal name) or "Patsy Martin Benefit Account".  If you are local feel free to drop it off at Page County State Bank.  If you are not local you may mail it directly to the Martin home (address listed above). 

Posted on July 3, 2014 by Alissa Hogan - Long time friend of the Martin Family

VOLUNTEER CAREGIVERS NEEDED FOR PATSY!

We currently have SEVERAL openings as several of our regulars are on family vacations.  Please do try to help if you can!! :

Tuesday 7/8 12PM to 6PM shift
Thursday 7/10 8AM to 12PM & 12PM to 6PM shifts
Friday 7/11 8AM to 12PM & 12PM to 6PM shifts
Monday 7/14 8AM to 12PM shift
Tuesday 8/15 12PM to 6PM shift
Thursday 7/17 8AM to 12PM & 12PM to 6PM shifts
Monday 7/21 8AM to 12PM shift
Tuesday 7/22 8AM to 12PM shift & 12PM to 6PM shift

If you aren't comfortable doing it alone we are more than happy to have a buddy system where two people take the shift!   It isn't hard and you don't need medical experience!

If you can help please contact Teresa Simmons at tasimmons78@gmail.com

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