Posted on June 19, 2013
Posted on June 19, 2013We did it! Well, really, YOU did it! We can hardly believe how much support we have received - it has come in the form of monetary support, of course, but also in letters, e-mails, meals, hugs...We have so appreciated every last bit of it. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you!
As of yesterday, Leo has hit the 6 week mark. It's unbelievable that we have made it this far. Leo now weighs 10lbs, 2oz and has grown about 3 inches since birth. He feet haven't slowed down either. Bath time is still my favorite time of the day, even if Leo can't decide if likes it or not. Leo has started smiling a lot in his sleep and I like to think he smiles when he is awake as well. He sometimes snorts as he is falling asleep and I like to think his favorite place to be is snuggled up on our chests. Josh's favorite thing to do is burp him because he squirms and sighs and makes all sorts of funny noises. Leo has become a lot more vocal- which we like, unless it comes in the form of a cry. His hair shines golden and sometimes looks blonde, sometimes light brown. His blue eyes have begun to get bursts of green in the centers, like mine. Leo grabs my fingers and holds tight, gripping tighter every so often and giving a reassuring squeeze. He wakes up every morning bright eyed and happy - and that, without a doubt, is how we get through the uncertainty of each day. -Ashley
Posted on June 18, 2013
Posted on June 18, 2013Leo is 6 weeks old today! We can't believe the time has flown by so quickly! Thankful for every minute.
Posted on June 14, 2013
Posted on June 14, 2013This last month at home with Leo has been spent figuring out the best ways to care for him and watching for small signals that alert us to his slightest discomfort and trouble breathing. It has been a full time job, one that continues around the clock, like caring for any small infant. Our job, however, is one that certainly keeps us on edge and steals the possibilty of much restful sleep. Thank goodness there are two of us to take turns because I feel like it would make it much it harder to handle this as well as we are. Nighttime isn't always hard, when Leo is truly sleeping his breathing is fairly regular. However, he is awake and alert much more than he used to be, it just happens that 50% of that awake time happens at night.
The last few nights we have begun feeding Leo with a feeding pump. It provides him with a continuous (slow) flow of formula which helps him get an adaquate amount of calories in a 24 hour period. We tried increasing his volume of food during normal feeds but we found that it was hard on him to tolerate this larger amount. In many ways it has been successful- he is starting to get his chubby cheeks back. On a perfect night we would only have to wake to give him medicine at 2am and change his diaper. During a more realistic scenario, I am awake throughout the night hours, changing his diapers often and suctioning his mouth and throat to clear his airway. The suctioning is only necessary when he is actually awake & last night that was most of the time... He also woke up throwing up once but really seemed quite unaffected by it once the episode was over.
We have also realized that Leo does much better when he isn't handled too much. His time being held by us (and especially friends and family) must be very limited because of how easy it is for him to start choking. As much as I would love to cradle him in my arms as much as possible, I'd rather see him resting peacefully beside me, than turning blue as I tried to hold him. Because we know that he can't be held as often, it makes it that much harder to leave the house. Josh and I take turns going out and running errands because A: we both need time out of the house and B: We can't risk him having a spell in the car. I almost feel like we should bring a small "bed" with us when we do take him places so we can always have a place to lay him down. Just over a week ago, we were still using his carseat and had taken him to a few restaurants and the grocery store with us. He has done fine most times, but one or two scares are enough to make us think twice. Today we are getting a "car bed" for him which should hopefully make transporting him much safer.
It's incredibly difficult to comprehend that while physically Leo is growing and getting stronger, we are also painfully more aware of his sensitivities and limitations. Not to mention that any given day could be his last with us. When we first brought our baby home, I used to yearn for normalcy. Now I am realizing that this IS our new normal, at least for this chapter of our life. -Ashley