Posted on January 28, 2018
Dear friends and family,
Words are truly inadequate for these past few weeks. We woke up on January 10th, excited that our little boy was coming to us that day, only to find out at 7pm that night that his heart inexplicably stopped beating. We cannot describe the heaviness and sorrow that seems to loom over us in every moment. We miss our sweet Theo in a way that words can’t describe.
We never envisioned the next few moments, hours, days, that would follow. Our family, extended family, friends, church and even people we barely knew, came out to shower us with love, support and encouragement. We sat in disbelief over what everyone did on YouCaring for us. We were humbled and overwhelmed to realize how deeply we are loved. You have lifted us up and are helping to carry our burden. In the midst of experiencing such grief, we cannot thank you all enough for that.
We thought it might be helpful to share our story a little further as we did get some test results back. The labs indicated that I had a stage-3 chorioamnionitis, an infection of the uterus and umbilical cord. Unfortunately, it seems whatever infection I had was isolated to my uterus and affected Theo, not me. I never experienced a single symptom of chorioamnionitis. The doctors also diagnosed me with eclampsia (I never had preeclampsia) with no other symptoms other than the seizures – in fact throughout pregnancy and labor I had consistently low blood pressure. I also had a slight drop in sodium which seemed to cause me to become delusional and confused – I am told I became dazed and emotionally unresponsive the moment his heart stopped beating. I have no memory of this happening, or anything that followed. The most difficult part of this is coming to grips with the fact that every part of my pregnancy and labor were healthy and seemingly perfect. I was laboring normally and all my, as well as Theo’s vitals, were being monitored and were great throughout. Until his heart stopped beating, nothing went wrong.
We met last week with my midwife and the doctor who performed my C-section to discuss our case. They explained as much as they could, only to conclude that whatever happened was extremely rare and we would likely never have an explanation. The biggest mystery to everyone is why Theo just died suddenly. The doctor is continuing to explore our case and plans to meet with the high-risk pregnancy doctors at Albany Med to see if they can offer any additional insight.
We named him Theodore, which means “gift from God.” Our hearts break knowing that we only experienced that gift for the 9 months he was growing inside me, but Theo was still a beautiful gift from God. We have so many memories we enjoyed while being pregnant with Theo and we can only hope that he remembers those times now. We know he is being loved and held in the arms of Jesus now.
Lauren & Brad