Keep a Disabled Trans Woman Alive and Off the Street

For: Lapis
Organizer: AJ the Nerd
Keep a Disabled Trans Woman Alive and Off the Street (Lapis)
of $2,000 goal
60% Complete
Raised by 26 donors

The Story

Hi all,

A friend of mine (who I will nickname Lapis - in part because I don't think it's a name she uses anywhere!) just lost her housing in the middle of a mental health crisis.  

Lapis has had problems with stalkers, so I'm being very careful with names and traceable information. If you're seeing this, it's because someone who knows me and trusts my honesty is sharing it.

She is trying to get help for her problems, but she has experienced recurring housing insecurity and is frequently incapacitated by her disabilities, which has made it much more difficult for her to access health care. She is a trans woman with multiple disabilities, who does not have family support and is unlikely to be able to survive on the street.

Everyone we've contacted so far has a waiting list of months or worse. She deserves to live and have a chance to recover from this. 

Unfortunately I cannot host her myself because of family circumstances (I would if I lived alone.) For the moment she is staying at a motel - I am also disabled, so my income is limited, and to do this I had to use money earmarked for a necessary car repair.  Normally I wouldn't have even had this money.

You will notice the pictured receipt is from the wee hours of the morning. We had a difficult and exhausting night, as initially I made a reservation for her at another place and we were then turned away by a hotel clerk who repeatedly misgendered her and became actively angry when I tried to correct them. After that we tried a 24-hour mental health intake, because their site mentioned they might be able to assist with housing or finding a social worker to take her case, but since she was not judged to be an immediate danger to herself or others they were not able to provide resources, and their recommendations didn't pan out. We are still looking around for a social work organization that can help.

I have also put $105 toward her immediate needs this week (mostly in cash), taking care of some groceries and medications and giving her assistance to handle unexpected small expenses for toiletries, bus fare and the like. So I am approximately $455 in the red right now. Her hotel will need renewal on the 22nd.

There is a long road ahead of us and likely many additional expenses. If she can find a room to rent, move-in will probably cost around $1000. In the meantime, hotel bills will continue to mount. We are not sure if she will be continuing to stay in the Pacific Northwest or traveling elsewhere. If she has to find a place to stay out of state, I may well be driving her across country in my car. I'm determined not to let her wind up on the street, because none of my material comforts nor my car are worth a human life, but my resources are limited. Please help.

If this fundraiser exceeds its goal additional funds will continue to go to her housing and medical care.


  • - If you might be able to offer her a place to stay for any period of time, or even a place for her to stay warm and use the facilities regularly, please contact me, especially if you are in the Pacific Northwest but even if you're somewhere else.
  • - If you are a car mechanic in or near the PNW, offering your time and effort to repair my car would allow me to continue using my car repair fund towards caring for my friend instead. I most likely need the viscous coupler rebuilt, as in this video. The car is driveable, but I am concerned about the effects of going too long without completing the repair, especially if it turns out that we must undertake a cross country drive. 

Fundraiser Updates

Posted on April 16, 2017

Posted on April 16, 2017

Today I discovered that my car can drive at least 40 miles after the yellow "need gas badly" light comes on! (What a trooper. *pats dashboard lovingly*) 
Some more detailed updates follow, for those interested. (Written on the fly and a bit wryly; it's been quite the week.) 
The last few days were rather rough. We autobooked an airbnb where the flakey college kid host never showed up, and another which was double booked. (I’m starting to think the “air” in their name means “vaporware”.) 
We met with two people about longer term room rentals (who both wanted us to meet in restaurants, costing additional cash.) One said a room would be available this week, but then admitted their real estate purchase hadn't closed yet, and they were being wishful. The other person promised a sublet without consulting their roommates first, but didn’t let on to us that they’d done that, and the end result was that Lapis wound up staying in an overpriced nearby motel in order to be able to move in in the morning, then was suddenly told she could not, and wound up having to check out with nowhere to go. 
(On the bright side, if they hadn’t told us it was a near certain thing, we'd have paid for two nights in the overpriced place, and having to scramble today meant we found a somewhat more sustainable interim option. She’s currently a couple hours out of town, but the new motel costs a bit over $200 per week, rather than the $350 and up that everything in town rents for currently. Driving back at night after all the small town gas stations closed was how I accidentally tested the depth of my tank.)
We could definitely still use more assistance.  Although I’ve managed the most recent expenditures by pulling money directly out of my car fund, since I found someone willing to fix my viscous coupler for cheap, we are still searching for a more permanent place suitable for her limited income. 
She’s also trying to get her driver’s license, which has additional fees and charges associated but will help with long term stability. 
All of your help is doing immeasurable good. It may seem sometimes like all of this is just treading water but I cannot emphasize enough that the difference between treading water and drowning is *enormous*. If you have ever been down and out... you will know what I mean. 
So please, let's continue to pass the hat (I suggest sharing the link directly with someone you know who has a larger platform or more money than you! it’s good socialism) and I'll keep doing the groundwork to help Lapis find her way into a more stable life. 
Thank you all again. ❤

Posted on April 10, 2017


Posted on April 10, 2017

Hello friends. Thanks so much for all the help so far. 

With your assistance through this fundraiser and a few direct donations, we've been able to keep a roof over Lapis' head for a few weeks as she searches for a place to live in the longer term.

I am once again going into the red however & need to pass the hat again.
The good news is, I think we're in the home stretch here. Although we haven't been able to find her something local in a difficult rental market (something we spent a number of days trying to do because Lapis is better off in proximity to a network of supportive friends), we finally decided to look in a different area of the state and found a few leads that she is following up.
We now just need to keep her housed until she can get into one of these rooms, and cover expenses such as application fees and move-in costs. It's important to keep this moving forward and not delay. Please help out if you can, and please share this page with others on your social networks.  
As before, please also contact us if you have a place where she can stay or if you can help with a car repair. Thank you. Know that you are making a life or death difference in her world. 


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