My name is Lane Speidel and I'm a 25 year old transgender non-binary person, artist, and pre school teacher. My top surgery date is February 24, 2018 and while it is difficult to ask for help I will need help paying for the surgery and the recovery time. I won't have access to health insurance after I turn 26 on November 20 (Scorpio!), and while I love my job and the children that I work with dearly being a pre-school teacher does not allow me to fund the medical procedure I need to continue my transition and stay alive.
Every since my chest arrived on the scene, I distinctly remember 5th grade, it has been a site and source of trauma. Both internal bodily hatred, doubt, and anger, and external harassment and sexual abuse. As a survivor of sexual and physical abuse I have worked really hard to be present in my body through my transition. Publically beginning my social and medical transition was the hardest and the easiest thing for me to do, suddenly it became impossible to avoid that this body needed to be altered. The summer of 2016 I began experimenting with my presentation, researching medical transition options, and public transitioning my name to Lane and pronouns to they/them/theirs. Suffering through painful misgendering, people cornering me with questions, people following me home, work becoming a daily source of depression, and feeling deeply physical anxiety every time I left the house went hand in hand with giving myself permission to grow and change, finding new communities, and feeling great pride in being trans. Starting hormones, wearing a binder every day, finding my gender presentation (s) have all helped immensely to find myself and show the world who I am. However I can only wear a binder 8-10 hours a day safely, which sometimes only covers the work day and commute for me, so I find myself having to choose when to feel like myself and when to feel nauseated, vulnerable, and exposed. As a person with Bipolar II Disorder, I can swing towards a depressive episode very easily, and have often found myself having suicidal ideation, and once not too long ago coming very close. Top surgery will help me reclaim my body from my abusers, and from my first puberty. It will help me to be confidently myself all of the time, it will help me to continue to work with my amazing trans community in the trans/nb/gnc event series I curate Make A Space for Me, it will help me to teach my pre-schoolers, it will help me to be a friend and ally, it will help me to create art, and it will help me to survive.
Thanks for your time and your help!