Posted on January 17, 2018
Hi everyone! I’m writing to you 7 weeks post-op!!! Woot!
My body is healing like a champ and I’m almost back to normal! But like, way, way better than normal. This surgery has totally revolutionized my life. There are so many physical wonders that have come from this. Now I look the way I’ve always wanted to look in shirts! Like all kinds of shirts: T-Shirts, Henley’s, button ups, crew cuts, v necks, sheesh, the shirts are so fun. And the tanks are next level. The only thing more fun than the shirts is the shirtless lol. Which is very cool and feels so natural. Tying towels around my waist is amazing. Going down a flight of stairs as fast as I want without any pain at all is amazing! Throwing away my bras was very, very cool. I feel taller now, and looking in the mirror doesn’t hurt at all anymore.
But there are things that have gotten better, things I hadn’t even explicitly linked to my dysphoria. I feel such calm now. In my heart and in my mind. I feel at peace with what I accomplish, in life, but even just in a day. I don’t beat myself up like I used to. I hold myself to reasonable and gentle expectations, and I feel proud when I accomplish. Pride is a feeling to which I never had true access. I acted prideful, yes, but I didn’t feel proud of myself. I am so much more positive and patient. Less negativity finds its way in. I’m kinder, too. I can see people more clearly, and want to give them my time, should they need or want it. I know it’s only been a few months, but these changes feel elemental, and to my core. It feels like a new chapter, but a new chapter from a totally new book, in a totally different genre. I feel liberated and alive and ready to use that energy for good.
I’ve sent as many thank you notes and cards as addresses I could wrangle. If you haven’t received some correspondence from me a.) it is sitting on my desk waiting to be mailed b.) it is lost in the mail indefinitely because I definitely skimped on postage lol c.) I couldn’t find you on any of the social medias! But if any of those apply to you, thank you for taking the time and the money and the energy to make my life a better one. My body is so livable now. Y’all are amazing.
It is a radical thing, to help trans people stay alive, help them be happy and bright in a world that is insistent on trans-oppression. I thank you for the hope and the joy and the new chapter.
If any of y’all want to make a habit of being radical, here is another person who is fighting for all the same freedoms I now have the privilege to feel. https://www.gofundme.com/raestopsurgery
I love you all a lot and I hope your day and your week and your life is bright.