Worth waiting for...

For: Jeff & Amy Roeters
Rochester, NY
Organizer: Amy Roeters
Worth waiting for... (Jeff & Amy Roeters)
$32,341
of $35,000 goal
92% Complete
Raised by 72 donors

The Story

If you are reading this you are about to hear a first hand account of our family history.  Amy and I thought it would be best for you to hear our entire story before asking you to consider contributing to our next chapter.  Above all, we hope you find encouragement in our words.  For any trial or challenge that you may be currently walking through, we pray that your faith will be strengthened.

When you first get married you are often warned by close family and friends to beware of the sophomore slump.  The second year of marriage is usually accompanied by arguments about money, personal space, and which side of the family you'll be spending the holidays with.  The honeymoon stage comes to an end and you come crashing back to earth.  Right?  Well not for us.  Year two was better than the first.  We seemed to skate by, unscathed by others projections of what our marriage roadmap might look like.  Not that we didn't have our disagreements from time to time, but nothing that derailed us from where we thought we were headed.  It's funny though, we so easily dismiss others cautions believing "that will never happen to us!  Can't you see the perfect picture of our future we've been painting for ourselves?"  I think that response often comes more from naivety, rather than from arrogance.  But in the end it brings you to the same destination.  

Jeremiah 29:11 promises a hope and a future, right?  If I had a quarter for every time I pulled this verse out of my pocket to help ease any uncertainty in my life, Amy and I would have enough money to adopt an entire village of children.  It wasn't until I actually looked at this passage in greater depth that I realized this hope and future doesn't come without pain, hardships, and suffering.  I applied the passage to my life as my own kind of mini prosperity gospel.  After stumbling across an article written in Relevant Magazine, I found some truth and perspective.


We often read Jeremiah 29 like it is good news, plain and simple. But to the first people who heard those words, they were a tremendous disappointment. God’s people had suffered terribly. They had lost their land, their throne, and their temple. 

It was into this kind of despair that Jeremiah offered God’s promise: “I know the plans I have for you … plans for your welfare and not for your harm, to give you a future and a hope.” They were not easy words to hear. Jeremiah promised that God had a plan that was certain and inevitable. But it would not unfold on Israel’s timetable. It would not simply undo Israel’s hardship. Yet the promise stood: God would fully restore His people and bring them out of their desperate situation, but He would not do it in the way any of them would have planned it.

Isn't it our timetables and earthly expectations that set us up for incredible disappointments?  Well, ours was just around the corner.   One of the obvious questions that arise in conversation with your potential spouse before even considering whether or not you want to tie the knot is, "Do you want kids? If so, how many?"  For me, that wasn't always an easy question to answer.    I can't tell you how many times a friend or new parent has asked me "Do you want to hold him (or her)?"  Referring to their sweet little newborn baby.  "Sure! I'd love to!"  Lies, all lies.  Every one of those moments I thought to myself how much more I'd rather be holding a golden retriever puppy than this strange, new little person who cries way too much.  I often looked at having children as being a step of life, not some instinctive desire to be a Father...quite the dichotomy between Amy and I.  

Amy knew from the time she was two years old that she wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom.  Even when she was a baby, she loved babies.  Just like our little girl, Eisley.  More on her later.  Amy is the baby whisperer.   There is something so innate and natural in her ability to mother, and not just with her own child.  She's cared for handfuls of kids as a nanny over our eight years of marriage...  always remembering each child's birthday, making sure she had a gift for each one.  Even when we weren't building our family, she was building someone else's.  

Gradually, a natural paternal longing to start my own family set in.  Definitely not a Duggar-sized family, but at least one baby.  Just to get started.  This was a huge step for me.  In my mind, being “ready” meant that a couple months from now Amy would be showing, we’d start baby-proofing all the things that could cause boo-boos, and I’d be creating the hipster’s dream nursery.  This would have been my ideal plan.  I can say looking back five years later that how this really all played out was indeed the perfect plan.  In the moment though, our journey seemed like a torture.  After twelve unsuccessful months of trying to start our family and much pressure from Amy, I reluctantly agreed to visit the Doctor.  I was sure that our lack of results was merely a timing issue and it would be just a matter of time before we’d see two pink lines on the pregnancy test.  Boy was I wrong.  The news our Doctor gave us was devastating. 

Nobody ever talks about infertility.  I didn’t even know there was a word for not being able to get pregnant.  I didn’t know any of the odds or statistics accompanying this condition.  I was clueless that 1 in 8 couples struggles with getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy!  Most importantly, I certainly didn’t know the taxing effects infertility would have on a marriage. 

Our statistic was gloomy.  Our chance for conceiving naturally was less than one half of a percent on a good month.  On any given month, a healthy couple has a 15-25% chance of getting pregnant.  God isn’t constrained by earthly facts.  God is bigger than any statistics, right?  These are the things I would say to Amy in efforts to encourage her and give her hope.  My intentions were pure.  But what I eventually realized was, I was doing was minimizing her pain, as well as my own.  

Amy and I experienced some very raw moments as the heartache manifested itself in our discussions and through very honest comments.  At times it felt almost too honest.  For me the sadness came in short bursts.  For Amy, the pain was always there.  Those of you who are married understand there is no greater pain in life than seeing the person you love most in life hurting.  Even worse when there is absolutely nothing you can do to ease intense ache.  Amy's deep desire to be a Mother was colliding with the reality that bearing a child wasn't going to happen the way we traditionally expect, or that it may never happen at all.     

Between trying naturally, 10 rounds of IUI, and 3 rounds of IVF, we heard the answer "NO" 48 times.  Every "No"after the last became less surprising, but hurt even more than the one before.  For any of you who have gone through this, you know that each no is followed by days of grieving.  It's not an exaggeration to say it feels a lot like you're attending the funeral of a loved one every month.

In the midst of all this, adoption was brought up quite frequently, both in my and Amy's conversations, and in conversations with those trying to provide us with a sense of comfort.  It was often presented to us as a backup plan of sorts.  Not that a backup plan is a bad thing.  If that adopted child is headed to a loving home, then it has to be a good thing.  But if I was going to adopt I wanted it to be crystal clear this was God's calling for our life and not our attempt to fill a void we had in our hearts.  To me it resembled being the last kid being picked for the kickball team during recess.  I didn't want to tell our adopted child that he or she was our last choice.  

Our hearts and our heads were filled with so many emotions and thoughts.  What do we do next? What will we do when our savings account dries up?  We had come up on our last try through IVF.  We had 13 embryos frozen at our fertility clinic.  11 of them had already been implanted without any success.  We were down to our last two.  Our doctors told us these were our "worst ones".  So much for saving the best for last.  Through the generous contribution of a close family member, we scrounged up enough money to follow through with our last attempt although our expectations for any positive results were at an all time low.  

At this point, Amy had requested that the Doctors always call me with the results.  She couldn't bare to hear another?#160;"no".  I hated my new job of relaying the news to Amy.  "Don't shoot the messenger" wouldn't exactly be a great response.  I went over and over in my head how I inevitably would break the bad news to her that our last try fell short.  I remember getting the phone call at work.  I didn't have the fertility clinic's phone number stored in my phone, but I had seen it so many times that I recognized where the call was coming from.  I let the call go to voicemail and checked it about 20 minutes later. 

Having rehearsed giving the bad news over and over, I had not once considered that I'd be giving good news.  I was floored with the Doctor's news.  Almost five years of waiting culminated into one, fifteen-second voicemail.  Sharing the news with Amy was one of the most joyful moments of my life.  Nine months later, our "fat chance, poor quality" embryo blossomed into our beautiful little girl, Eisley Grace Roeters.  

It was through the waiting, the pain, the suffering, and the tears that we realized this process was not about us.  We started to see glimpses of God's purpose throughout the later part of our Journey.  As difficult as it was, we began to welcome it.  We encountered many people over the four years who were carrying the same exact burden as Amy and I.  The only difference was they did not share the same hope that we have in Christ.  The only place they knew to put their hope was in the Doctors and themselves.  That's a heavy weight for a person to carry.  It if wasn't for our suffering, we would not have been able share the reason for our hope with others.  Because of Amy's faithfulness, others have come to know Christ.  

Someone asked us a rhetorical question shortly after Eisley was born.  It was a doozy.  "Would you give Eisley back if it meant one more person would find a relationship with Jesus?".  That's not an easy one to answer, and obviously that is not God's plan.  But I think it's a great question that will always be a steady reminder that if we're not pointing back to Him, we're doing it all wrong.  The day that Amy and I can't both answer that question with a "yes", is the moment we've forgotten everything God taught us.  

I can say whole-heartedly that adoption is not our new pursuit of growing our family, but our hunger to follow God's calling in our life.  Whatever child God places with us will not be the last player selected to the Roeters kickball team, but will be God's choice for our family.  We are personally inviting God to break us, mold us, and lead us so that he may be glorified.  Our hope is that through this new process others will come to know the same God that delivered our miracle in Eisley, the same God who promises us a hope and a future, even in the midst of hardships.  

Why not pursue another biological child?  Simply put, God has commanded us to adopt.  Secondly, we believe that this is the ministry our family has been called to.  Lastly, we see a very apparent need in the world to care for the children that are already here.  One of my favorite quotes states "Where your gifts and the needs of this world meet, therein lies your purpose".  This is our purpose.  This is our ministry.    

So do I believe in the famous quote that "Good things come to those who wait"? My answer is yes!  But, what we've learned is the "good things" that we're waiting for will most likely look much different than we had hoped, and THAT is worth waiting for.  

Thank you for your support.

Love,
Jeff & Amy

Fundraiser Updates

Posted on February 26, 2017

Posted on February 26, 2017

I've been wanting to write to write an update for a while now.  I just haven't felt super inspired by much lately to sit down and actually write something.  Let me be clear and say that I don't believe inspiration and gratefulness are mutually exclusive with each other.  I don't think I've ever been more grateful in my 33 years of existence.  Eisley just happens to be sleeping after only getting out of bed once, and Amy and Shiloh took a trip down to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  So, I thought I'd start typing and see what comes out.  Maybe I'll just start by answering some FAQ's for you all that I seem to get most. Hopefully this will give you a glimpse of where we're at in the adoption process, what we're doing well, and where we could use some work.  
Does Shiloh feel like your own child?  100% yes.  I think it's a great question.  It seems to be something people are hesitant to ask us, but it eventually comes up in a very round-about way during conversations we have with people.  "does he like, feel like, I don't know... Like he's...."  "LIKE WE GAVE BIRTH TO HIM?!?!".  It's ok to ask!  When Shiloh's Birth Mom handed him to me, it was one of the best moments of my life.  In that moment, I knewhe was mine.  But I liken it to when you get to hold you niece or nephew for the first time.  You love them dearly, as if they were like your own, but there is just something slightly different.  That difference didn't last long though.  I had a moment about three weeks after we brought Shiloh home where I was talking with someone about when Eisley was born and we brought her home from the hospital.  Then I said, "after we had Shiloh" as if we had given birth to him.  I realized in that moment that I felt like he had come from us, our bodies, our blood.  
How has it been integrating Shiloh's Birth Parents into your lives?  It has been incredibly rewarding.  Of course there are the logistics of scheduling that we all deal with when it comes to getting together with any of our family.  But we've absolutely loved our times with Shiloh's Birth Mom and his Birth Father.  We are blessed to have two people in our lives and Shiloh's life who have a deep love for him.  It's so obvious in the way they look at him.  They shower him and Eisley with gifts whenever they come over.  As if Eisley needs anything else.  They love our little girl as much as they love Shiloh.  I recently posted a picture on Instagram with the caption "Got to spend the whole day with Shiloh's Birth Dad today. It's pretty amazing to see how deep his love is for his biological child, but in the same breath, validate that Shiloh is with "the best family he could ever dream of".  As I think about Shiloh growing up, I am relieved that many of the questions he'll have about his adoption will be answered naturally through his relationship with his biological parents.  When we explain to people that we have an open adoption, its not uncommon for us to hear "You guys are amazing".  While that is kind for ya'll to say.  We're not amazing.  Not even close.  We just want whats best for Shiloh as he grows emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  
Now that the adoption process is over, will you guys adopt again? I am a "one at a time guy".  Amy would have started the process all over again already if it wasn't for me.  Adoption is also incredibly expensive.  The financial hurdle that comes with adoption is still something I wrestle with every day.  Not because of what we've had to personally spend, but because we know there are so many children in the world who need a home.  There are parents who would give anything to adopt, but just don't have the $40-$50k or more that it takes to do it.  We're getting closer to the higher end of that number ourselves.  Crazy right?  Technically this process isn't over.  Shiloh isn't officially ours until we finalize the adoption in court before a judge.  This typically happens about 6-9 months after placement.  There are many factors involved, including which court (Family or Surrogate) you choose, how quickly your agency moves to get the paper work done, and for us, we need to have another secondary type of home study performed.  Lastly, we need to have all outstanding bills (counseling, medical, etc) paid before the judge can put his stamp of approval on the whole thing.  We still have some loose ends, but we know that God is the ultimate provider and he has met every need every step of the way.  Long winded answer for "we'll see".  We'd love for Shiloh to have another sibling who was adopted.
This has been an amazing journey.  It still feels pretty surreal.  We know that Shiloh knows us as his parents.  He's starting to get to the clingy stage where he's really only comfortable with Amy, Eisley, and I.  We love that he's attaching himself to us in healthy ways.  He lights up like the sun when he hears our voices or sees our faces.  Eisley is an incredible big sister.  The other night I couldn't get Shiloh to settle.  He was overtired and I missed his window for nap time.  After about an hour of screaming, Eisley said "Give me his bottle Dad, I'll feed him".  I told her I had already tried a few times and it wasn't going to work.  Yea...I was wrong.  She held him, gave him his bottle and he stopped instantly.  I was glad to have an assistant.
We'll keep you all updated on the finalization and when Shiloh officially becomes a Roeters.  Until then, thanks for your continued prayers and support.  We couldn't do this without you all.  Shiloh thanks you with a smile as he sits here next to me in bed. 
Love,

Jeff, Amy, Eisley, and Shiloh.

Posted on November 17, 2016

Posted on November 17, 2016

We’d like y’all to meet our boy!  Shiloh David Roeters.  He is nothing short of a miracle.  We realized we posted a couple photos on Facebook,  but never officially shared on our Adoption page.  So, here we go.

How many times have you heard someone say, “Come full circle”?  Too much…  It’s incredibly overused and on a personal note, probably one of my least favorite phrases.  Yet over the last month, I’ve probably said it close to a hundred times.  I still don’t like it, but in this case it really is the best way to describe how our little boy, Shiloh David, joined our family on September 29th.  He arrived one day after Eisley’s birthday, and one day before our 10-year wedding anniversary.  Three consecutive days that will forever put a dent in my wallet from here on out.  At least it’ll be easy to remember.  Three gifts in three days, right in a row.  Can’t really mess that up. 

If you remember reading our last update, you know that we had hoped to pick up our new addition earlier in September.  A couple hours prior to us heading to the hospital to pick him up, we got word that the plans had changed.  Maybe one day we’ll share some more details around what happened on that day, but we’ll leave it at that for now.  All in all, you know that Amy, Eisley, and I were pretty disappointed.  I remember waking up the next day and having a feeling I hadn’t felt since high school.  It was like someone had broken up with me, or in this case, us?  Mixed with the feelings of losing a loved one.  Another feeling that I hadn’t felt since my Grandpa passed away in 2010.   You know we had picked a name, gotten a room ready, and told everyone we knew.  Now we had to tell those same people that this wasn’t going to happen as expected.  In the midst of all the confusion someone said to me “Maybe it’ll come full circle”.

It’s the process of “circling” that was not fun.  Why would going in a circle ever be good?  Doing a lap around disappointment and uncertainty, questioning processes, and never knowing if you’re going to close the loop.  I often think of the movies when people get lost in the woods.  “Hey, didn’t we just pass that same tree hours ago?”  I like going in straight lines.  It’s my personality.  Look forward, and keep walking.

Two weeks later I was on my annual golf trip with my dad and one of my best friends.  It’s probably one of my favorite weekends of the year.  It’s a time where I can just unplug from responsibilities of life and just find rest.  It consists of three days of Fall golf, craft beer, and lots of wings.  It felt like this years trip was a perfectly timed to refresh and refocus.  It was our second night and we were headed out to dinner when my phone rang.

Amy had called to let me know that she had unexpectedly heard from the social worker that had been spending time with Shiloh’s Birth Mom, and was hoping we could arrange a meeting.  Without any expectation that a placement would happen, we agreed to sit down and talk through what had happened two weeks prior.  Admittedly nervous going into it, the conversation was great.  Shiloh’s Birth Mom picked us and placement was scheduled to happen at an entrustment ceremony.

I had never heard of an entrustment ceremony, but I was excited to learn that one had been requested.  An entrustment ceremonies can differ greatly case by case, but is typically when a birthparent participates fully and make a statement of choosing the adoptive parents as the child’s parents, receive the adoptive parents’ statement that they will love and care for the baby, and formally hand the baby to the new parents, “entrusting” them with the child’s full care.  I would recommend that anyone adopting request this if it makes sense.

I don’t know that I would have been able to handle this transition without the ceremony.  It was beautiful.  We planned it at a local church only a few minutes from our house. Both of our families were present, our pastor, and our Birth Mother’s closest family members.  Our families arrived early, no surprise there.  Everyone was waiting patiently in one of the rooms off to the side of the entrance.  As I waited alone out in the hallway at the front door to greet Shiloh’s Birth Mom, I had a million thoughts going through my head.  “How does this handoff work?  I’ve never done this before, what am I doing?  Can I keep it together?  Where the heck is AMY?!?”  As I tried to process this, the doors opened and in they walked. 

I was almost certain that I would be greeted with tears.  I was wrong.  Shiloh’s Birth Mom smiled as she headed up the stairs towards me.  She quickly extended her arms, holding our sweet little boy who I was seeing for the first time, and said “here!”  I looked at her and I think I said, “Already? Like right now?”  She smiled and nodded yes.  Think now about the best gift you’ve ever received in life.  Something that somebody gave you, and when you touched it or saw it for the first time, the overwhelming sense of gratitude and thankfulness you felt.  Now multiply that by a trillion.  That is how that moment felt.  So surreal.  The greatest gift of all.

As I write this update, I marvel at the braveness and courage this woman has demonstrated throughout this process.  While she may not admit it, her strength was and continues to be supernatural.  She loves Shiloh more than anything in the world.  We love her dearly and are blessed to welcome her into our family.  We prayed fervently that God would give us an open adoption and that Shiloh would grow up having a strong and healthy relationship with his biological parents.  God is so faithful to answer these prayers. 

Throughout the entrustment ceremony Shiloh was passed back and forth between all the families represented.  Many of the irrational fears seemed to melt away almost immediately seeing him exchange hands freely.  Shiloh’s Birth Mom read a letter aloud that she had written to him.  It was eloquent, moving, and really just perfect.  We shared ours with her.  Amy did a wonderful job, but I seemed to fumble over my words.  It was a special time filled with feelings of joy and sadness. 

It’s been about a month and a half since Shiloh has entered our hearts and our home.  We’ve had two wonderful visits from his Birth Mom and our friend over the last month.  We said it before, but we love her.  We love seeing her with Shiloh.  We love that Shiloh will be able to ask her the questions he has as he gets older.  We love that the curiosity that Shiloh has will not go unaddressed.  We love that we grew our family by more than one little boy.  We are so excited for the future.

We also had the privilege to meet Shiloh’s Birth Dad just this past Sunday.  He is an honest, sweet, hardworking man full of integrity and love.  Meeting him happened all very suddenly, and again, uncertainty seemed to stir up some anxiety in me.  We spent two hours with him and got to see him see his biological son for the first time.  It was incredible.  We’re blessed to have had that time with him and are excited that he too will be a part of Shiloh’s life. 

It all still feels like a dream.  When we look at him we see strength, we see grace, and we see purpose.   He really does belong to God.  Sometimes when we make a circle, it’s God reminding us that it is in his strength and timing that we get to experience his promises. 

Lastly, we want to say thank you again to all of you who supported us through prayer and finances.  Because of you we were able to write a check for the most expensive part of this adoption.  We are about $4,000 away from what we will need at finalization in a few months.  Couldn’t have done this without you. 

We can’t wait for you all to meet Shiloh and his Birth Parents.


Posted on September 16, 2016

Posted on September 16, 2016

Well, I will admit that this is not how I envisioned today would go.  This afternoon was supposed to be the time Amy and I brought home our new little baby boy to meet the big sister that won't stop asking about him.  I woke up early this morning so I could get a half day of work in before needing some time off next week.  I had a hard time falling asleep last night.  Anticipation mixed with anxiety seems to do a better job keeping me up than coffee these days.  So please forgive my grammar and writing errors as I'm running on two hours of sleep.  You all have been part of this process from the beginning.  Good, bad, and ugly.  Our reason for sharing is not so we meet financial goals, or so that people will feel bad for us.  We share these ups and downs with you so that others may be encouraged and know where our hope comes from.  That no matter the outcome, God is good, able, and worthy of our praise.
As I sit here writing this update in what use to be our guest room, I feel incredibly disappointed and sad.  This was suppose to be his room.  Last week a good friend came over and helped Amy and I paint to get ready for his arrival.  We knocked it out in less than a day.  The paint still smells fresh.  And even though I'm not in love with the color Amy picked out, I think it looks pretty good.  As I look around at the gifts in the room that have already piled up over the last 5 days because of all of you, I can't help but cry.  There are some unopened cards addressed to "the new little Roeters", a few tiny diapers, and new navy curtains from Grammy to match some of the items on our baby registry.  We had even picked out a name already.  Shiloh Jeffrey.  More on that in a little bit.  Anyways, I know what you're all thinking, and you're right.  I cry about everything. I am a sensitive Sally and i'm learning to embrace it.  Real men cry, right?  It'll probably get worse with old age too.  
So...we got a call around 10 am this morning letting us know that the Birth Mother of the baby was wavering in her decision to place the child for adoption.  This isn't uncommon, but commonality and knowing that other people experience this uncertainty doesn't make the experience any less painful.  As I look at the title of our blog page (worth waiting for), it's a gentle reminder that God's outcome is better than anything we could dream up in our puny little human brains.  Seeing the title again is also a subtle, self-inflicted challenge that we Roeters need to put our money where our mouths are, and believe that what we're waiting for is indeed, "worth it".  Throughout the last 15 months, I hadn't seen many parallels to our infertility journey, which is probably a good thing.  The infertility process and all the treatments that come along with it, wreaked havoc not only emotionally and mentality, but physically as well.  Hormones (the bad ones) flew around like confetti on New Years Eve.  I have been very glad that our bodies have been able to sit on the sidelines for this one.  These two initiatives to grow our families have actually been quite different, until today.  Hearing "not this time" brought back a flood of emotions from our IVF process that we have kept hidden away in a drawer for quite some time now.  It was like hearing a song that brings you back to a very specific time and place in your life that you will never forget.  Good, bad or indifferent.        
Our agency told us to expect another follow up call by the end of the day, which we received around 12 pm.  It was a short call, but the message we received was that the Birth Mother had decided to bring the baby home and was going to care for her baby.  You know, through this entire process we prayed more for our Birth Mother than I think we prayed for the baby.  Our prayer was that whatever decision she'd make would be done in full confidence.  During our conversations with this mother, it was clear that she was very intentional, thoughtful, and cares deeply for the life that was growing inside of her.  This is the kind of Birth Mother we had prayed for and hoped we'd place with.  A Mother that we could tell our adopted child with full confidence, Your Birth Mother loves you more than anything in this world.  Ultimately, I believe that what we prayed for is the very same reason she has decided to keep her Child.  A love so deep, that she could not separate herself from her baby.  A love we would never dream of interfering with.  
How often do we pray for God's will to be done even when we know we might not like the answer?  Last night a group of close friends who are like family to us circled around and prayed for me and my family.  A common theme in everyone's prayer was just that.  "God, let your will be done"  It's a hard prayer to pray, but when you live it, and mean it, it will change your life forever.    
As I got to work this morning I was picturing our faith walk as a brick house.  Each brick represents pains, joys, happiness, sorrows, all different from each other.  But each brick, regardless of emotion or feeling, represents an answer to prayer.  No brick better or worse than the last.  But all working together for good, for one purpose.  To build a house that will glorify God through it all.  The ending of Joshua 24:15 says "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord".  So friends and family, this is what we'll continue to do.  Regardless of losing money, time, and sleep, we know God is in control.  
Eisley is doing OK.  She's still young, but she's smart.  She saw Amy crying this afternoon and asked Amy if she was crying because of Shiloh.  Amy said "yes".  Eisley quickly responded and said "It's OK Mommy, God knows"  If anyone knows that, It's Eisley.  What a reminder she is of God's faithfulness.  
Oh yea!  Back to the name we had picked out.  Shiloh Jeffrey.  In Hebrew, Shiloh means "The one to whom it belongs".  We take comfort in this name, knowing that this little boy belongs to God.  While we cling to what was the idea of having him in our home, we cling most of all to knowing that everything we have belongs to God. 

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