TL;DR: We hate having to do this, but our support system of family and "friends-we-consider-family" is here, and before we decide to move out of province for IVF funding (at least right away, there are several other reasons, but this is the most pressing), we wanted to see if we could get some monetary help, especially after the chemo he completed in April.
We still have the jar fundraiser money for his cancer saved, which has helped us lately.
If you can't donate (we totally get it, economy sucks), please share.
Here goes nothing.
As most of you know, we've been trying to conceive since July 2013, a year after we got together. It was discovered six months later that Dave has a severely low sperm count. We were 38 (him) & 34 then. They told us IVF+ICSI (injecting a single sperm into each retrieved egg) would be our only chance at a genetic child. And even then, it's 40%... but that's even better odds than a healthy young person conceiving each month at about 25%.
We tried several alternatives, vitamins & supplements, a non medicated donor insemination in 2015, and informal known sperm donors. Circumstances and miscommunication often derailed the latter. I still look at known donor registries online and dream about doing that, rather than paying for donor sperm, which is still more cost efficient than this.
Then Dave's seminoma was found to have recurred in January 2017, in his abdomen. He'd been declared free of it in 2009 (they thought they got it all via orchiectomy of his left testicle, said he didn't need chemo or radiation), but of 13% of seminoma patients that it returns, he's one of the 1% that it happened after two years of being declared free of it. He will need to be monitored for life.
We had already banked some of his sperm a year before the diagnosis, as his count was deteriorating. The oncologist recommended we bank more, as chemotherapy could sterilize him permanently.
He's gone through chemotherapy ending April 11th, 2017. As of this writing, he'll be getting a deeper PET scan mid August to be sure, but a CAT scan revealed that the original 10x7cm mass (which had already receded a couple of cm just before chemo) has shrunk significantly, so the oncologist is extremely confident he won't need radiation.
He's since developed a blood clot in his leg that he's doing sub cutaneous (needle in the belly each day) Fragmin, till the end of November. Thankfully his work health insurance covers it. I told him *I'm* the one who's supposed to be doing needles in the belly... ^_^
He's now 42 and I'm 38. I panicked (many articles about egg freezing, women's biological clock & age, some conflicting) and recently had a sonohysterogram & blood tests. Everything seems to be normal on my end, for now. They said I should do IVF sooner rather than later. I said I needed a few months to think about financing, they said that was fine... just don't wait five years.
So here we are. Here is a star and a cookie (IOU) for getting this far. You are an awesome and patient friend!
We absolutely know the economy sucks, and many of our friends and family are just getting by themselves, so we completely understand if you can't donate, but please share everywhere you can.
Thank you SO much.
Mandy & Dave