Help Dave & Mandy Roy afford IVF after 4 yrs & chemo!

For: Amanda Ardelli
Nova Scotia, Canada
Organizer: Mandy & Dave Roy
Help Dave & Mandy Roy afford IVF after 4 yrs & chemo! (Amanda Ardelli)
of $10,000 goal
4% Complete
Raised by 8 donors

The Story

TL;DR: We hate having to do this, but our support system of family and "friends-we-consider-family" is here, and before we decide to move out of province for IVF funding (at least right away, there are several other reasons, but this is the most pressing), we wanted to see if we could get some monetary help, especially after the chemo he completed in April.

We still have the jar fundraiser money for his cancer saved, which has helped us lately.

If you can't donate (we totally get it, economy sucks), please share.

Here goes nothing.

As most of you know, we've been trying to conceive since July 2013, a year after we got together. It was discovered six months later that Dave has a severely low sperm count. We were 38 (him) & 34 then. They told us IVF+ICSI (injecting a single sperm into each retrieved egg) would be our only chance at a genetic child. And even then, it's 40%... but that's even better odds than a healthy young person conceiving each month at about 25%.

We tried several alternatives, vitamins & supplements, a non medicated donor insemination in 2015, and informal known sperm donors. Circumstances and miscommunication often derailed the latter. I still look at known donor registries online and dream about doing that, rather than paying for donor sperm, which is still more cost efficient than this.

Then Dave's seminoma was found to have recurred in January 2017, in his abdomen. He'd been declared free of it in 2009 (they thought they got it all via orchiectomy of his left testicle, said he didn't need chemo or radiation), but of 13% of seminoma patients that it returns, he's one of the 1% that it happened after two years of being declared free of it. He will need to be monitored for life.

We had already banked some of his sperm a year before the diagnosis, as his count was deteriorating. The oncologist recommended we bank more, as chemotherapy could sterilize him permanently.

He's gone through chemotherapy ending April 11th, 2017. As of this writing, he'll be getting a deeper PET scan mid August to be sure, but a CAT scan revealed that the original 10x7cm mass (which had already receded a couple of cm just before chemo) has shrunk significantly, so the oncologist is extremely confident he won't need radiation.

He's since developed a blood clot in his leg that he's doing sub cutaneous (needle in the belly each day) Fragmin, till the end of November. Thankfully his work health insurance covers it. I told him *I'm* the one who's supposed to be doing needles in the belly... ^_^

He's now 42 and I'm 38. I panicked (many articles about egg freezing, women's biological clock & age, some conflicting) and recently had a sonohysterogram & blood tests. Everything seems to be normal on my end, for now. They said I should do IVF sooner rather than later. I said I needed a few months to think about financing, they said that was fine... just don't wait five years.

So here we are. Here is a star and a cookie (IOU) for getting this far. You are an awesome and patient friend!

We absolutely know the economy sucks, and many of our friends and family are just getting by themselves, so we completely understand if you can't donate, but please share everywhere you can.

Thank you SO much.


Mandy & Dave

Fundraiser Updates

Posted on January 29, 2018


Posted on January 29, 2018

It's been a while, and we sort of gave up on this, I won't lie. But someone donated, so we thought we'd give an update.

There isn't much new. I (Mandy) burned out and left my job. I only have enough EI till early March, so I have to apply for jobs, here and in other provinces that have fertility tax credits or funding. It's extremely stressful, because Dave's job is great and has a pension to boot, and I'm scared he won't (be able to) join me later.

But more important and tragic, we had to put my 13 year old cat, Tux, down on January 12th (into the 13th). She stopped eating after Boxing Day and we found out she had a mast cell tumor. We were given steroids, some cats go for months on those so we would have more time, but she only lasted about a week or two. I was syringe feeding her every 4 hrs or so. 

I was right there holding her when it happened. The vet praised me for it, as if most don't. The techs all commented on how sweet and docile she was, and they knew she was loved. She was an amazing, sweet, loving cat. And I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to my dog, Tori, about 15 years ago. 

We have a regular private sperm donor now. If that works, it will be great, but this helps a lot with expenses if we move provinces. The move wouldn't be entirely about getting fertility tax credits or funding anymore; there are issues with this provincial government's handling of health care and education, and mental health help is nearly impossible to get, I need medication for inattentive ADHD, and I've been getting the run around and hitting brick walls.

That's about it in a nutshell. 

Oh. Bean is going to be a big sister. Her mother is expecting again. 

Posted on September 28, 2017


Posted on September 28, 2017

We went to Hal-Con, and got to spend time with Bean dressed as Oscar from Ghostbusters II! Happy baby! (See the photo gallery for that picture) And her mama got engaged too!

Posted on September 19, 2017


Posted on September 19, 2017

Not much news over here.  Hal-Con is coming up. Excited for that.

Dave is going to ramp up to going back to work full time in November.

His hair came back in curly!

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