Austin Criswell "I have a herniated disc at L5 S1 in my lower back. I'm on the highest doses of pain meds I can safely be on. It has been bothering me for almost a year now. It has gotten to the point where I am in the worst pain I have ever felt all the time. I can no longer sit up, walk, go to the bathroom, etc. without being in excruciating pain that makes me sob every time. It has kept me from going to work since September and the doctor I saw wants me to lose 100lbs before he will operate. As you can imagine, it's really difficult to do that. Especially when you can't get out of bed. Also, my insurance does not cover any weight loss surgery. Which is depressing. All this has really put my depression and anxiety to the test. And honestly, I have wished I was dead at times. Not because I want to die. But because I just don't want to be in pain anymore. I am in the process of trying to find another surgeon that would perhaps operate on me. But, most are booked up until May. Which makes me have anxiety attacks because I have to wake up everyday and relive the same pain over and over and over again. I went to the ER last night and they were able to make me comfortable for a few hours. But, the doctor said he can't do much else for me. As soon as I got home I was back to where I was before. I am TERRIFIED that there is no end to this. And this herniated disc has taken my life away. I feel like a man who is defeated. On top of this I have a cyst that has an open wound that won't close. And they may not operate at all when I have an open wound. My wound care doctor tells me it may never close. On top of all that I have fibromyalgia that is, on most days, debilitating in and of itself. Plus, my car broke down, I have no income, I have medical bills, my recliner broke and I can't play music right now (which is my passion). Thank goodness I have parents who love me and are supporting me financially and doing everything they can to help me through all this. My parents can not be beaten. I seriously have no idea how I could ever repay them for what they are doing for me. Especially when it should be ME that is taking care of them. I'm trying so hard to put my faith in Jehovah God that he will help me out of this horrible time in my life. I guess if there is morale to this story is go do things. Play with your children. Play with your dogs. Go on that road trip you want to go on. Go to that concert. Do what you have been putting off or have been nervous to do. Because, tomorrow everything could be taken from you."