Posted on October 12, 2017
Being private people, Jason and I don't always talk about every area of this season in life.
We have come to realize that this is a journey. And while mountains have been moved and miracles have happened and continue to happen, part of our story, also involves a great deal of pain. A unimaginable amount of struggle, and a battle that we never planned on being in. But as God fearing people, we have always asked that God use us as individuals and as a couple, to touch people. To help change lives.
The very first thing Jason did, after asking me to marry him 4 years ago, was grab my hands and pray over us. Our marriage, our future, and that we would live a life together that honors Christ.
So while we did not foresee ever going through something like this, we did ask to be used in big ways, for the kingdom. I know God did not cause this to happen. He did not create the pain and suffering, but He did say to trust Him to get us through it. That there is ALWAYS a way, with Him. In the Bible, He said we would have trials and tribulations on this earth. There is an enemy with a plan to kill, steal and destroy. Constantly working against you. Trying to break you.The key to it all, is to lift your eyes, and fix them on Him. He will carry you through the flames. HE will be your refuge in the storm.
You do not need to know "WHY", you need to trust Him to bring you revelation. His plan is greater and bigger than anything we can dream of. He can and WILL turn our mourning into joy, and sorrow into dancing again. If you love and trust Him, that is His promise.
I trust His timing. I trust His plan.
I trust Him.
The part about our story that you do not see, is the daily struggle to function. Jason, while months ahead of schedule, and breaking records, still has never ending discomfort.The thing about sever burns, is the scar tissue and its unrelenting effort to cripple anything it can.
The scar tissue is working 24/7 (for upwards of 2 years) to adhere to the tendons and stay there. If Jason is not stretching and constantly working out, the scar tissue is than working harder than him. That is what is known to cripple people who have been severely burned. Jason makes incredible ground during the day, all to go to sleep at night and wake up stiff and stuck, again. Jay refers to this as "T-Rex syndrome" (yes he still has a great attitude and sense of humor through all of this😊) .
Our skin, Jason's much more than mine, is painfully sensitive. In some of the deeper injured areas, the nerves have not redeveloped yet, leaving areas unable to feel. The heat hurts. the cool air is painful. The rain burns our skin.
One minute your hot, the next your freezing cold. Our nerves are constantly saying something.
Jason has lost many sweat glands, so his body is learning how to regulate its temperature. This makes it easy for him to overheat.
His skin is so tight, that often times when he stretches, the skin wants to tear and bleed. This is everyday.
Yes, each day brings improvements and steps forward, but there are also days where it feels like we take a few steps back. That is how this process goes. It requires the absolute most focus and determination.
Most burn survivors, lose limbs, and many times, their face and all their features. Jason has every limb. He still has ears, his hair has grown back, and he still looks like Jason. Once his skin heals, there are many treatment options to help reduce the scaring on his body and face. As Jay puts it, he is a "human quilt". Pieced back together from his neck down. He will bare the scars of this for the rest of his life.
Another thing we deal with daily, are the flash backs. So vivid and real that it feels like it is happening all over again. The nightmares...ones you can't wake up. We scream and yell in our sleep.
Although we are safe now, subconsciously we are still burning in a fire...still suffocating in smoke. Our sleep cycle has changed. Our bodies don't seem to want to sleep now, until the sunrises....
This is a piece of the real and raw truth about our journey. With all of that said, we CHOOSE to stay fixed on Christ. The one who saved us. We trust the plan, His purpose. Even when it hurts like hell, we still praise Him. Everyday we have to make the decision to keep moving forward. Keep breathing, keep working hard and letting our Father take on the rest. We simply could not do this without Him.
Your prays, are still needed, and appreciate. I know I've said it before, but they truly lift us up through the day. It encourages us. It reminds us that although this process is Jason and I all the way, we are not alone. The Lord has used you, to pick us up. He has surrounded us with love and covered us with grace. We are so blessed to have so many of you praying for us. I cannot say that enough.
Your financial support has touched us more than we can express. Jason will be unable to work for sometime. To be able to focus on each other and our health, during this time, is a tremendous blessing. One that someday, we pray we will be able to provide for others in need.